Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize