Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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