I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days