I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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