U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
