Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
