i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
