What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
