Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
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Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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