1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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