I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
