Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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