Life is so much better after having sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution