he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I understand Curling. That high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
