She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
