so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
