so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
