JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
