Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize