Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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