i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
