So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize