I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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