Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am one with the molecules
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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