Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
