And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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