some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
