i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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