nut hugger
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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