Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Holy shit dude........stairs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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