Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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