we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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