im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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