she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
