i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
