Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Say something about gay babies.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
