just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
