thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
