i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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