And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
