My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
