You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
