Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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