This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
