i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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