i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
