just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
