I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize