oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
