Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
