I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My day in three words: secret purse cake
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
