Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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