I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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