She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
