K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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