she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
