Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
