yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
