she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just cut my nipple shaving
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
