I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
