Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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